yet I am truely sad.  (I know how can tha be?!?) 

 

My best friend is almost through training.  2 days and a wake up.  He graduates Monday.  Woohoo!  I am so proud of him.  He will be a combat medic.  He'll be home Monday too.  Or so he hopes.  (Me too!!)

 

I'm excited that he'll be coming home.  I'm sad because he won't have long to be home before he has to go to his next duty assingment which is a thousand (or more) miles away.    I'll get to talk to him but then he'll be off to Iraq (probably) for up to 15 months.  (Yeah I read about that extension.)

 

While I support the war and the president, I disagree with the decision to extend the length of deployment time.  12 months in a combat zone is too long but it is managable.   15 is just asking for trouble.  Most soldiers  that have shown domestic violence have done so after long deployments.  Dur let's just make it more of a risk to the spouses that stay behind.

 

But any how ... I am excited for my Sunshine to be coming home!  I hope to get to see him more than I did at christmas!

 

I miss him so much everyday!

When someone says they'll take care of the sales tax ... make sure they are clear on what part of the sales tax.  Nasty shock when I went to register my car and the sales tax was like $560 which is more than the $282 check in my hand.  WTF?  They only pay state sales tax and not even all of that.  Argh!!  Would I have asked to finance all of the stupid sales tax if I had that kind of money in my hand?!? NO!

 

Oh but wait!  Do you think the damn car would squeak?  No.  Course not!  But I have now seen the underside of my car!  The exhaust will need work eventually.  Maybe in the next year or year and a half.  So, the hatch leaks too.  Great!  My SOG for the depaartment was on the floor in my binder.  Soaked!  Papers on the last 3 cars (including the Firebird) soaked too as they were in an envelope in the backseat.  Oh yeah that was home to a lake.  But that's not all!  It only fucking leaks when it's on an incline.  Wanna guess why?!?   The drainage channel isn't lined up quite right.  It was in an accident and the hatch is out of line.  It's fine sitting on a flat surface because the dealership didn't have trouble with it leaking and it sat there for a month.  ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

 

I love the car but I want a car that doesn't leak ... I wanna have my firefighter plate on it and be able to start getting lights and siren.  Wah!

 

So, maybe in 27 months I'll get to that.  I guess we'll see where I am in 27 months!

 

(there seth!  an update, just for you! :-p )

spend your tax refund.  I know I do this every year and this year it's more depressing than usual.  Proabably because I didn't get back what I did last year.  This year it helped me secure a mode of transportation, I paid a bit on my credit card, treated my family (or rather various family members) to meals to say thank you for putting up with me.  I also bought my kid some clothes and a couple new pairs of shoes.  I bought some stuff for my dad too because he needs clothes worse than I do. 

 

I purchased a piece of exercise equipment that Mom and I had been discussing for ages, because we both need to do something to lose weight and if it's here we're more likely ot use it.   It's sitting here waiting for me to put it together.  (I just got it this morning!!) 

 

 So, I checked my account.  Even though I got paid Thursday (as in my paycheck) it still sucks.  I have 2 more people to pay then I have to stash the rest for the deductible just in case something happens to my ride.  So needless to say ... I won't be going to the dentist, the dermatologist, or getting the new glasses I'm sure I need.  I also won't be getting lights or a siren for my car.  I won't be getting my mom that digital camera she's been wanting, nor will I be replacing mine.

 

At least my baby girl will have some stuff from the Easter Bunny.  So will my mom.  I'll have a few things but I didn't know what to get.  I didn't buy a lot of candy because we really don't need it.

 

Someday I will not have to have this worry and I can pay my bills and still have enough left over for the fun stuff. 

An update
Current mood: restless

I'm sitting listening to the rain/hail pounding on the stupid skylight.  The poor dog is terrified.  I've never seen her pant like this or tremble so much.  And she went through Hurricane Charlie.

So as the hail pounds the skylight (I know it's the most anoying thing) you can't listen to a damn thing.  Sapphire is seeking Mommy's protection and I'm thinking it's a damn good thing I have full coverage on the car.  It would suck to have it only 4 days and have it thrashed.

That's part of the update!  I have wheels!  YAY!!!  I'm so excited now I can take myself to and from work.  Kira thinks it's neat.  She gets to sit in the front seat in the parking lot at school when I drop her off in the morning.  I can now get to training.  But I have to work on getting the car up to par.  It's gotta have lights and siren!!  :)

My first sports car too!

The other update.  The thing that is bothering me most is having had a few disagreements with one of my best and closest friends.  It has thrown me all off this week and (me who has to be able to fix things) I can't figure what has happened to fix it and set it right.  For both our sakes.  I can't lose this friend.  I don't know what I'd do without 'em.

So I've been restless.  (That started last week though ... )  It's just gotten worse since Sunday.

Hope everyone in Arkansas is staying dry tonight.  Mom hopes that the skylight will be in one piece in the morning.

(I had attempted to post this last night but as soon as I posted it to myspace the power went out and never came back on until 0300.  So it's a few hours late!)

So, what do you do when you realize that things aren't ever gonna go right?

 

Well, now that I have wheels ... (Yay again) I'm much happier, for I have freedom to a degree.  

 

But I'm more specifically talking about a person.  Sunshine to be exact.  It seems that he'd a had a horrible weekend and all I wanted to do was hear about why it was so bad.  It should have been a little brighter since he wore the Valentine's gift I got for him.  :)  But I think it's really because he didn't have a pass this weekend.  They had endlesss amounts of shit to deal with and I always seem to know that and when I call to talk I get the tongue lashing.  That it not what I call for.  I call to make sure he's okay and that everything is going well.  But I push because he doesn't tell me that "hey, it's not you.  i've just had a bad day and this is why ... " it goes more like "It was a day and I don't want to talk about it."  I'm here for him to vent to and I don't mind it.  But when he doesn't say that it's not me is when I think it is me.   (Make sense?)

 

So now that I have him on the phone and buttons are apparently pushed, he reminds me of a conversation we've had.  I play stupid because we've had a lot of conversations lately.  He reminds me of the specific one he's referring to and things get quiet on my end.  Nothing like having your self esteem shoved down to the barely nonexistant level, again.  I've finally started getting a second chance at things and I was pretty happy about that.  I was hoping things would start going better with my best friend but apparently not yet.

 

Too bad.  I miss him alot and the calm center that is my soulmate is pissed off at me.