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July 28 Have you ever felt ...lost? I felt hopelessly lost yesterday and most of the night. I didn't sleep well. I have a friend you see, that I love very much. Okay if you've been following this you know who I'm talking about. He's scheduled to go on block leave ... actually it started yesterday. He said he'd call and when he didn't I started to get worried. I was kinda torked anyway because of my postponed courtdate. But this really worried me. I knew he'd have told me if he was heading here. I don't know if he realizes how worried I was. He usually turns his phone on after work and he didn't. I tried all night. Every time I woke up I called, just to see if by some odd coincidence it would ring.
Finally this morning, like an hour ago, he calls me. Apologizing for not calling. He'd gone fishing! So glad for that. I thought something terrible had happened. I won't ever know if something happens to him. I told him what I had feared. He said not to worry, nothing like that would happen. But I don't know. I don't trust one of the people he keeps in his company. Ah well ...
He's safe. That's what matters! :) So am I just insane to have felt the way I did? I love him so terribly much that there's this empty spot I feel in my heart. It aches everyday and fills up when I hear his voice or when I get to see him. Then it empties out again when he's gone. I know that in the end it'll be me and him but I still can't help feeling a bit lost. I have this great picture of him but I won't share it. :) It's all for me! Comments (2)
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